Text Message Breakup
by Kiku-chan214
Summary: I don't wanna ruin it... Based off the famous Iamkelly youtube video xD Bella/Edward with a splash of Mike! Rated T cuz I can't remember if I used naughty language... Oh yea! They are humans too! ONESHOT


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything at all for that matter cause I got my idea from a popular youtube video... I own literally nothing... except the transfer of ideas... maybe...**

**A/N: Kay, so this is my human version of how Bella and Edward meet.**

_**BPOV:**_

"Aren't you supposed to go out with Mike later?" Rose asked me, cringing at the name. We sat in my apartment watching a cheesy movie that none of us liked.

"Hey, he's not my ideal boyfriend, but at least I have one." I threw a pillow at her. "And, unfortunately, yes."

"Oh Bella, hasn't she told you enough." Alice chirped in. "The only reason Rose is single is because she wants to be." Alice could tease because she also had a boyfriend. A very blond and gorgeous southern man that she'd picked up on a stroke of luck.

I wish I could be so lucky.

I laughed Alice's comment. Rose had been on a dry streak recently. No matter who she approached, it was a complete disaster and she was very sensitive about the subject.

Mike's ringtone erupted from my phone, which sat on the kitchen counter. "Alice?" I begged, not wanting to get up.

"No."

"You were gonna make popcorn in a few minutes anyway. Please?" I pleaded, twisting in my lazy boy to face her.

"Fine!" She threw her pillows to the side and skipped, as always, to my kitchen.

By the rustling in the next room I could tell Mike was last priority. It wasn't strange for him to be left waiting for an answer for hours. We both knew this was going nowhere. At least... I did...

This thought brought on a whole new stream of thought. Why was it so important for me to keep him around if I didn't even really like him? I'd much rather be alone...

Maybe I should just break up with him...

"Uh... Bells..." I heard Alice call me; her voice rang with nervousness and shock.

"What is it?" Rose asked her, standing. I stayed where I was, not really caring about the outside world right now.

The next thing I knew, Alice had shoved my cell phone in my face.

The insulting words on the screen seemed to glow boldly and brightly. "Did he just...?" I trailed off.

"Uh-huh." Alice confirmed, and angry edge to her voice.

"Come on." Rosalie grabbed my arm and pulled me out of my chair.

"What are you doing?" I jerked my arm back.

"Taking you out, that's what." She said, grabbing again and dragging me to my room.

An hour later, we stood in front of our usual club dressed like we'd just come off the set of a rap music video- thanks to Rose.

We were pretty late, so the line was pretty small. By the time we got inside, it was packed.

Alice, being the best friend I had, dragged me to the bar and paid for the first few rounds.

"I cannot believe that ass hole did that!" I blurted out after another round.

"He is an asshole!" Rose raked her hand through her hair. "Why did you even stay with him?"

"He beat me to the punch. I was gonna break up with him tonight."

"That is the problem with men! They never understand what we want!" Rose hiccupped.

"Mike was nothing but a waste of time Bella." Alice patted me on the back. "I can't believe that he texted you though! It's just insulting!"

"Can we please not talk about it?" I sighed. I was growing rather sick of this same conversation.

"Like what?" Rose sipped her marguerite. "Oh! I know this guy who would just be perfect for you Bells! He's a personal trainer!" She smiled evilly.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I rolled my eyes and pushed my way through the crowd.

How could one man be so immature?

I stopped in place after hearing a very familiar voice. I looked over my shoulder and saw the back of Mike's head. He was surrounded by a few of his guy friends and a ton of girls, flirting with ease.

I stormed towards him as Ben tapped his shoulder in warning.

Mike whirled around with not even an ounce of panic in his eyes. "How's it going?" He asked with a smirk.

I only saw red from then on. "'How is it going?'" I repeated the question in disbelief. "It's going great, _Mike. _Simply peachy!" I said with fake enthusiasm.

"That's good." He turned back around and continued with the girls.

I shook my head. "I just wanna ask you one thing." I said through gritted teeth.

He sighed exasperatedly. "What?"

I stepped forward. "Did you really think you could get away with breaking up with me in a text?! I mean seriously! Were you such a coward you couldn't do it to my face or did you realize how close I was to breaking up with _you_ that you just wanted to save face?!" I asked loudly. Ok, I screamed.

The women behind him stared in awe and anger at him while the boys flinched away.

"Please Bella, we both know you weren't going to break up with me." He chuckled. "And I only texted you because you wouldn't answer the phone."

I knew that was a bold faced lie. It ate at me worse than him texting me in the first place. I tried to hold it in- I really did. The anger swelled up inside me and I tried to quell it…but then he looked over his shoulder at his friends and laughed. Not at a joke someone had told. Not at something stupid one of them did. At me. He laughed at me. That's not how it worked. He didn't laugh at me. Not unless I laughed too. But this was an 'in your face' laugh. A laugh meant to hurt me.

But only my ego was hurt- there's nothing worse than being dumped by a boyfriend you didn't want via text- and I was more than angry at that.

Before I knew what I was doing I'd lunged. I sat on top of him and threw a punch. I was extremely proud that it landed square in his eye. I went to throw another but before I could two arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me off; throwing me over his shoulder.

I kicked and screamed, trying to escape the strong hold. "Let me go!!"

Whoever it was carried me outside and sat me down on the curb. I heard a ruckus and saw another guy bringing out Mike and taking him farther down the sidewalk. Probably afraid I'd try to jump him.

I rested my forehead on my knees and took a breath, trying to soothe my anger. The man who'd grabbed me stood in front of me now, but I didn't look up.

He squatted down more to my level and spoke softly. "Are you ok?"

"Who was on top of whom?" I reminded him.

"I know, but I'm required to ask." He chuckled. "What did he do?"

"You wouldn't believe it if I told you." I said spitefully.

"I bet I would."

"He broke up with me in a text." I couldn't see what he looked like with my head down, but just from his voice I knew he couldn't be bad. "And _I _was gonna break up with him tonight. Then he laughed at me. He_ laughed_ at me!"

"Ouch…" I could hear him wince. "If it's consolation, his eye is gonna be soar for at least a week."

I laughed at this. "Yea that's good." I looked up and my breath caught. I had to focus before I could breathe again and I felt a blush rising. I hid my face with my hair.

"I'm Edward." He held out his hand for me to shake. "I'm a bouncer here."

"I'm Bella. I just kicked my ex's ass." I took his hand and shook it, chuckling.

"Yea you did." A tall man appeared beside us. "I think he's crying but he won't lift his head. You're evil."

"She not evil, just spiteful…" Edward eyed me in humor. "This is Emmett. He's a bouncer, obviously, as well."

"Bella." I said simply, introducing myself.

"Oh my god! Bells!" Alice yelled as her and Rose rushed outside. "We saw everything." She grinned.

"You really let him have it!" Rose looked completely amazed. Her reaction wasn't a surprise. I'm not generally I violent person.

"I'll let you have it." Emmett muttered under his breath to I could only assume was Rose.

She looked at him with a smirk. There was something hidden in her face that only Alice and I could see. A certain satisfaction that she'd gotten her mojo back.

"Keep it in your pants mister."

"It's Emmett actually, but mister is good too."

"God..." I looked away. Too bad 'away' was at Edward. "Things must be back to normal, I'm the only single one again." I looked down at my feet.

"You don't have to be…" He mumbled.

"What?" I looked back up at him.

"I don't normally do this… ever…"

"He doesn't. At all." Emmett assured me. I blushed.

"Can I call you sometime?" He asked, oddly, in a shy way.

"Let me see your phone." I held out my hand. This wouldn't be half as embarrassing if Rose, Alice, and this Emmett guy weren't watching.

He placed it in my open palm and I added myself as a contact. "You can usually reach me on my cell, but I'm home a lot too." I finished and handed it back to him.

Thank god Alice came to my rescue or it would have been way more awkward than it already was. "We better get home. Bella should probably rest her fist." She laughed at the end.

Alice called a cab because Rose was too busy flirting with Emmett and I was too busy catching glances with Edward and blushing furiously.

When it finally showed up Alice had to wrestle Rose away from her new found hot guy. I slowly walked toward sit, Edward close behind me.

"You guys be safe." He warned as I slid into the cab. "And no more fighting Bella." He grinned.

I smiled slightly. "Call?"

"Don't worry, I will." He promised.

Emmett appeared at Rose's window. "I'll see you tomorrow." His voice held a hint of dirtiness. I didn't even want to know what he was thinking.

"Alright, take them away." Edward told the driver, back up. "Bye, Bella."

"Bye Rose!!!" Emmett yelled as we pulled away from the curb.

Maybe Mike's stupid text really had been good for me. I guess I'd just have to wait and see…

**A/N: I know you guys asked for this AGES ago. I'm soooo slow. Sorry!!**

**REVIEW!!**

**Kiku**


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